Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
Q. How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
A. Put the remote control between his toes.
Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.
-Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
-Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.
-Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what's happened
-Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and have bought jewelery.
What men say but really mean
-"Will you marry me?" REALLY MEANS, "Both my room mates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter."
-"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love, REALLY MEANS, "I forgot our anniversary again."
-"We share the housework," REALLY MEANS, "I make the messes. She cleans them up."
-"That's interesting, dear," REALLY MEANS, "Are you still talking?"
-"I heard you," REALLY MEANS, "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
-"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" REALLY MEANS: "What did you catch me at?"
