Life has been super busy. Workin' a lot; fuckin' bankin'! I'm working in stock, bakery, floral, and produce; making $9.00 in each department too. It's a sweet ass job. And it's a fucking work out, getting my ass in shape! I'm not conceited in the least, but I'm starting to fall in love with my body and think it's beautiful now.
Lots of fun with candy, roxanne, and lots and lots and lots of bud lately :) (Don't worry, stayin' safe though...)
Look at all that kief nigga. We're about to fly into space and leave earth motherfuckaaa :) My lovin's so sweet, I'm so lucky he's mine.<3 My lover, my best friend, my everything. The 27th was our 2 years :D I love you @snailsnot more than you'll ever know. You did a wonderful job on my ring, I'm in love with it.
I've been waiting almost 2 months so I could wear this dress for Easter :) Well worth the wait... Anyway, I've been sitting at home alone all day, cause my boy has to work a fuckin' double. I didn't even get to see him on break because he didn't have one. And we were suppose to go over to his parent's for bbq. Damn... The day being spent watching a kick-ass Russian prison movie, ftw! I can't really put up with these kids screaming anymore so I guess I'll head over to my mom's for Easter dinner. Good day everyone!
P.S. I have pictures and such from the last week or so but I always forget to update this, so maybe I'll backtrack later.
I've never been all that great at keeping things updated. I've just been enjoying life as it comes.
@snailsnot & I went to Buck Lake (above) which was really nice. We smoked 2 blunts on the way :) But we weren't able to drive up so we had to walk about a mile, mile and a half on this dirt road in basically a mix of swamp & forest. When we turned the corner to get to the observation tower there was a beautiful stretch of soft green grass right next to the lake. I couldn't help but take my shoes off and take a couple deep breaths; it was so peacefully quiet. I felt like I was smiling the whole time too. When we got to the observation tower there were 2 canoes leaning up against it with one paddle. One canoe had a hole in it for sure but Ben convinced me to go out on the lake with him in the other one. I was pretty nervous cause I'm scared of alligators and there are a lot there. And we only had one paddle... So I asked Ben not to go too far cause I'm a wuss, but good thing I did! On the way back there was a hole in the canoe and it started filling with water. Whaaaaaat!? Thankfully we made it to shore on time and the leak wasn't too bad. Then we watched the sunset on the observation tower while I blew lots (probably hundreds) of bubbles over the lake and into the sunset. I felt so incredibly content :)! As we walked back to the car, Ben had a big walkin' stick and we went around destroying these massive anthills... bahahaha, we're going to hell for sure. I'm in love, no doubt about it.
I've had money recently which has been nice. I've been able to drive around more and do more things. I've had a steady flow of bud, which always makes me happier. I updated some of my wardrobe with cute spring things. I've been spending more time with Brittany, and more time with friends in general. I've hung out at Josh's a few times which is pretty chill, I mean, minus a certain someone hah. I got my Holga CFN 120 :D I'm REALLY excited! I can't wait to get this roll developed. I also bought a battle of Patron, yay lol. And I have a decently big surprise for Ben (and me!) on Wednesday. :) I can't waittttt. Not to mention it's been beautiful bike riding weather. Basically, life is good. And I want it to stop raining.
Ben's making dinner and we're outta bud now. I've spent such a ridiculous amount of money on bud in the last 2 months. No more of that. Ben and I are looking into getting a place together in the next couple months and have to save up for our bills and decorations for our apartment/town-home. I'm excited and terrified at the same time.
Went biking today on the Little Big Econ Greenway trail. It was such a pretty ride, minus the shit-ton of people and the wind. So many people had puppies, cute puppies! Ahhh I want one. The wind today was straight up raping us. It about knocked me off my bike. And we saw 6 alligators. Dinner is about ready, peaceee.
Megan called me at 10:30 a.m. saying she had some blunts rolled up and that we need to head to the beach. That's what I'm fuckin' talkin' about! I'm glad I'm able to go to the beach in the middle of March; even though I'm pretty sure I'll still be chilly. Peaceeee.
I don't really feel like taking a picture today, or at least right now.
My head is literally spinning with everything that I want....
A place of my own; that's not on the first floor, with a pretty view out of the window. An old camera. Bracelets. A tiny kitty. Weed. I want to make art, beautiful creative art. A blank journal. Money to redecorate. Money for clothes. Money. Cute things done for me. Uncontrollable laughter. Motivation. New moccasins. A field of flowers. (I wonder if I could turn my whole backyard into a field of flowers!!) My boy to wake up. Hugs. Kisses. Cuddlin'. A change of scenery. Something to do.
I can't catch each want that goes through my head, but that's what I can think of. I occasionally forget that with each second that ticks by is another second I'll never get back. After so many seconds, they become one big blur. I'm guilty of not living my life to the fullest. I want to change that. I want to feel alive every minute of the day.
Another fight with my mom today about my money. She straight up lied to my face. I'm really getting sick of her. Fuck Elaine and her bullshit too.
Then on my way to cash my check, some dumbass made a sudden stop, which caused the guy in front of me to stop suddenly. I slammed on my breaks and it would of been fine but my brakes locked! Thankfully he was really cool about it and there wasn't any damage to his new dodge charger (thank god). He was fine, I'm pretty sure I got whiplash and knocked my jaw out of place. It hurts pretty bad :/ Soooo, I broke down and smoked. Doesn't matter, doesn't look like I'll get the job anyway. Time to smoke a bowl and go to bed, night.
Ben & I were laying in bed, trying to go to sleep, and out of no where I get this horrible, terrified, 'something is wrong' feeling. I dunno, like someone was coming to hurt us or something. It just kept escalating till the feeling got so overwhelming I started to cry. Ben got kinda freaked out cause I don't ever do this shit, and the neighbor's dogs were barking for a good 20 minutes before that.
He suggested we go on a ride and get out of the house for a little bit. So that's just what we did. Car rides always make me feel better. Plus he's so cute when he gets all protective. But by the time we got home it was already 4 a.m., and I wasn't about to lay down for an hour and a half to get right back up again. Soooo I decided to stay awake. At least until I get home from school.
I'm going to try to be productive today, however I don't know how well that will go. How is it I didn't even go to sleep and I'm STILL late for school?! Good day everyone!
This is my awesome bike :)
Benjamin and I went on a bike ride yesterday.
We got lost and drove around lots.
We ended up in the Withlacochee area.
I think we drove around more than we rode bikes, but it was good.
Then we decided to go to Spook Hill in Lake Wales.
It's bologna! Nothing happened! Lameeeee.
I'm pretty sick of my mom and her calling me a child.
It's convenient to call me a child when she doesn't need anything.
The funniest part is, she acts more like a child than I do.
I'm really ready for this T break to be over so I can get a job.
That way I'll have money and bud all the time.
Until then, here's to you, Miller Highlife.
P.S. I had to steal one of Ben's layers cause it was pretty cold. That explains the baggy shirt.
Yesterday was awesome!
Dinner at the House of Blues with @snailsnot.
Then we saw Manchester Orchestra!! :D
O'Brother and The Features preformed also.
They were pretty good.
Lots of blunts. Time for a T break again :/
Smoked with Brittany and Jess today tooooo.
