Thought i'd dip my feet in the pool for a bit. I'm just mixing a song i recorded earlier today. Can't sleep because my sleeping pattern is all fucked. Want food but everyone is asleep. Gunna watch the new episode of dexter in a sec. Wake up. Do it all over again.
Much love x
Sorry to sour the mood of the day, but today is the day of of my grandads funeral. I wanted to keep a little reminder of how i feel today.
I found out you were dying along time ago, you were diagnosed with alzheimer's about 6 years ago, before then i never even heard of it, now it gives me nightmares every so often.
I know its a horrible thing to say but over the years watching you slowly fade away and physically deteriorate helped soften the blow, or so i thought.
I found out you were going to die when i was away on tour, i was in reading at the time, it was the worst feeling i think i have ever felt.
Again its horrible to say but my other grandparents that have died didn't have this much of an effect on me because i never really knew them, but once upon a time you were like a second father to me. Our holidays in harland sands are the best memories i have.
This is the closest i have ever felt to death, and its strange since you left i have felt it looming over me. I think its something i am going to have to get used to.
When i found out you had died i was playing a show in edinbrough, when we finished playing i went and cried in a toilet cubical for about 4 hours straight. It felt i had ran out of tears. My throat was siezed up and i lost my voice.
You meant the world to me, there are soo many things that i never got to say to you because in the past couple of years you didn't even recognise me, but still i enjoyed our conversations about the man you saw flying around the garden and the sat ontop of the garage and the little birds you heard talking about you. I think insanity was a better place to be than realising that you were plain and simply dying in a bed you had not left in about 3 years.
So today is a shitty, shitty day but i'm glad you're not suffering anymore and after all of that i'm soo happy you died in your sleep, thats all i could ever ask for.
I love you Grandad, R.I.P. x
"I didn't get to say goodbye,
I thought that you would never leave.
But now you're gone,
I've still got so much left to say.
All those years we didn't speak,
All those words I should have said.
But now you're gone,
And there's nothing I can do.
It doesn't matter how hard I scream,
These songs won't bring you back."
- Nicholas Worthington (Dead swans)
I may make a belgium snow man in a little bit. I think you guys (In the uk) need to stop complaining about the cold because I GOT TRENCH FOOT. It hurts well bad.
So i am on another tour.
This time in the uk, my tour blog didn't go that well soo this time i am only gunna post when crazy shit happens, and this is definitely one of those occasions.
I am currently in newcastle, the show was awesome and now we are staying in "punk rock dad" 's house and its incredible.
He must be atleast in his 40's and he came to our show and let us stay at his place.
It is a 4 storey house with a snooker room :s its mental him and his wife cooked us all pizza (this is a 3 band tour) and gave us beer, he introduced us to his kids who were also all into music. Its incredible.
This is what i love about the punk scene.
This is there budgey he is called "Dickey" they let this wonderful creature fly around the house where ever it pleases. It was flying around in circles above our heads whislt we were eating pizza in the kitchen and it just land on people heads and stuff haha.
One of the most surreal nights of my life but amazing.
x
This picture was taken on the beach last night in Oostende This lovely lady is Aude she hung out with us for beach party times.
Today was a very french day it was awesome.
We woke up and went to look around "Norte dame" It was mental.
I love gothic architecture its sooo beautiful. I love the tall gothic pillars inside the actual cathedral, i could not take me eyes off them.
I wish i could have had a closer look at the gargoyles but i had to pay €8 to get up there.
After this we headed straight down towards the show which was incredible so many kids knew the words to our songs which suprised the hell out of me because in other places we have had good turnouts but nobody knew us, so it was soo rewarding looking up and seeing everyone singing along.
Afterwards after we had cooled down and played uno in the pub for ages, we headed out to the eiffel tower, of which we took lots of pictures they will be on here guarenteed.
Then we headed back to aurelia's house which is good enough by its self. Its a shame i didn't get to see the amelie locations but i'm guessing we will be back soon.
Now bed I'm looking forward to pain au chocolat in the morning, i love that shit!
Peace x
Oh hai, I forgot this thing exsisted.
I am currently on the biggest tour i have ever been on, its a month long. 1 week in the uk and the rest in europe.
We have been in europe for 3 days now 2 in belgium, 1 in holland and 1 in paris.
We are just over half way through and it has been the best thing ever, it would take too long to explain but from now on i am gunna try and keep a tour diary (If i have interenet that is)
Last night we arrived in paris quite late and went round pigalle It was incredible saw a fuck load of sex shops and protitutes lol. I had an awesome pizza and a nutella and bannana crepe It was awesome.
I woke up in this awesome very quaint apartment i feel like i am living in the set for amelie.
Speaking of that movie the girl whos house we are staying at is going to take us to the actuall supermarket where amelie worked today ^____^
Fucking excited, its wierd how i am more excited about that then seeing the eiffel tower.
Hopefuly i will update tonight! x
This was taken in the back of our van (The fun bus) whilst travelling down the m25 on the way home from a 2 week tour :s
The past two weeks have been the best two weeks i have had in a ridiculously long time. I will never be able to describe the feeling that i felt every day whilst living out of our the fun bus.
The only thing we had to do was be at the venue on time and play our set, other than that we could do what ever the fuck we want and its such an overwelming sense of freedom that helps put everything in perspective.
I have gained soo much confidence back through feeling free from everything and meeting new awesome people every night who had nothing but nice things to say to me, sitting around on random streets around the country, kicking the ball about in the middle of roads till the sun comes up, playing cards on every pub table we came across.
In a strange way it feels very post apocalyptic just fending for ourselves travelling around sleeping in the van, living out of a bag of 3 sets of cloths.
We showered every night at service stations and parked up in the car park to sleep haha and stole their electricity, basically everybody in my band quit their job to become pikies and its the best thing we have ever done.
Our last show of the tour was last night in london, and was fucking incredible. We spent all of today in the studio recording a new E.P., gotta be back in the studio for 9 tomorrow :s this wil continue for the next week until its done then we are off on a month tour round uk and europe :s
MENTAL!
FUCKING LOVE IT!
Very dissapointed in all my friends around the country i have been about in different cities for 2 weeks now and not one person has come out to hang out or see my band.
You all suck.
I want to write more but this is already way to long.
Peace and love x
