Cleanin up the new apartment and just found part of my soda collection. Pepsi cucumber ice. I hear it tastes good, but at anywhere from 16 to 24 dollars a bottle when i bought it, i figured i could go without a tase. now only 3 years later it is next to impossible to find!!!
I absolutely want to punch someone in the head when i get tickets like these. if you dont understand my frusration, please look up meat temp descriptions and then look again.
To the remarkably un-attractive young woman who lives in the downstairs apt,
I am aware that you do not have a lot of money, it is evident in all aspects of your daily live which by virtue of where we live, becomes part of my daily life.
I'm unsure of what your job may be, or if you even have one, i am also unsure of the same status of your live-in boyfriend. To continue in my lack of knowledge about you, i am also unsue of your name. As i write this i am becoming increasingly aware of many things i dont know about you.
What i do know however is that i do NOT appreciate putting my young daughter to bed and listening to your filthy friends swearing along to their mp3 player at 9 at night, I also do not enjoy walking my dog down to the level of your apartment and seeing you in the doorway waiting for your dog dressed the way you do.
This is life sweetie, not porno hokey pokey, so put your left-tit back in, get a shirt that covers what "shakes all about" and for everyone's sake, get some pants that look less like panties, and more like something you would see on a respectable lady.
i happen to know we live like 3/4 of a mile from a consignment store, go down there, you could use the walk.
sighned,
Your neighbor, who tends to get pissy late at night
Don't you hate that cough you get when it's totally inconvenient, and you try to suppress it, but it only makes it worse so you cough and cough, and the damn thing wont go away, and then people notice and ask if your OK. And that only makes it worse because you were trying to avoid that exact situation so you try to drink some water, which either you cough and choke or cough and shoot water out your nose, all the while, people are watching you, knowing what your going through, knowing it's embarrassing, but STILL asking "are you ok?" and all you can do is nod while coughing and try to excuse yourself, but now your getting a look from your teacher/boss. Still coughing you get to the hall to find a water fountain, only to find the cough has finally worked its way out as soon as the door shut behind you. so you cough a little while you get a drink, go back inside feeling like an idiot and sit quietly for the rest of the class/meeting.
What you see here is vindication. What started as a simple craving for hot dogs and mac and cheese turned into a culinary challenge to both satisfy my craving as well as thwart the best efforts of the villain known as "The World."
It all started innocently enough, while at the market i purchased kraft homestyle mac and cheese italian parmesan style. to go with this seemingly "high class" side dish i opted to purchase an equally "high class" entree in Oscar Mayer angus beef hot dogs. Grabbing my New England style hot dog rolls (cut on top not hinged on side for those who don't know), the lady and i finished our shopping adventure.
When it came time to purchase these goods, a smack to the forehead reminded me that half our money was tucked away back on the kitchen counter. As we sorted through the need and not need piles i found my dogs and mac in danger. we needed to slim down a mere 5 dollars and the choice would have made Sophie herself think twice. I either had to return the mac, along with it's 5 cheese counterpart, or part with the dogs and buns. After much deliberation, and many odd looks from fellow patrons, i dropped the dogs in the not a need pile.
On our way home i began planning my meal, knowing that in my freezer somewhere lurked bun-length skinless franks that could take the place of my lost angus. These franks are dreg, to be sure, but alas what is any hot dog? Feeling that the kraft could elevate the lilted-wieners to palatable if not desirable, i bounded past my wife and child into the house to start my boiling water.
The instructions for the kraft were more intricate than most normal boxes, including not one but 3 separate packets buried in the noodles. After boiling and straining my noodles, i proceeded to mix the cheese and spice and breadcrumb packets together. Upon waiting for the milk and mix to thicken i began my search for the dogs.
Opening the fridge to where i had left them last, i was met with only the forlorn spot in the fridge where once my tubular hopes had sat. I searched through the fridge in the same manor a 3 year old would search through his daddy's sock drawer. After coming up short in the fridge, i checked the ice box to no avail.
By this time i was pretty upset, my mac was fully made and i only had a short time before it turned from rich creamy goodness, into a cold glob of noodles and broken dreams. Feeling as if The World had twice pulled the rug out from under me, i began to think of what else would go with a side dish of such epic flavor.
Just then, a light bulb, i had spied a box of frozen burgers in my perusing of the freezer moments ago. Pulling the box out i plugged in my griddle and proceeded to grill the frozen puck. While the patty sizzled and spat it's way to my heart i moved toward the bread box, to grill a bun and prep some fix-ins.
Tragedy struck my plan when, opening the bag with the last bun, i found the dusty white and green spots that spelled defeat. I cursed and threw the bag out, my downtrodden mind desperately trying to think of anything that could salvage this culinary disaster. With a ding like an oven timer, my mind went live and i dove for the deep freeze.
Tackling the ice chest like i was trying to reach it before my oft-victorious nemesis, i sifted through the frozen meats and freezer-burned treats to turn up two slices of garlic texas toast. Tossing them on the grill, i reached for condiments. Finding we had no mustard or ketchup was no match for my zeal filled brain, it had found a way to win and it was burning full steam ahead. Having replaced ketchup and mustard with onion and horseradish sauce, i gazed over my masterpiece.
What looked back was nothing short of glorious. Tender pasta enrobed in a creamy parmesan sauce, flecked with bright green herbs, served on the side of a medium burger topped with crisp onions, lightly kissed with a creamy horseradish sauce and seated on a grilled garlic bun.
While The World may gloat about my hot dog, i stand victorious with my meal and only three words to say to my adversary...
Everyone always sees the beautiful plate presentations. Only a select few get to see the aftermath. I present to you what was once BBQ short ribs. May they taste well
