• forsakeninnocence snapped a picture

    11.11.10 [it's 11.11 as I begin.]
    The Hard Way.

    So things haven't been going so well lately.
    But today was great, and I'm pushing myself to do things I no longer have the energy for.
    I know it's been a while but I promise, I'll try to be here at least once a week.
    Much love to all,
    Nicolita.
    <3

    1 comment

    November 11th, 2010

  • forsakeninnocence snapped a picture

    09.01.10
    Dancing in September.

    Oh it's September 1st!
    Well that means summer is almost over, while I have little less than a week until school starts.
    Trying to work on getting things in my life in control but it appears to me the more I try the more things spiral out of control.
    So I guess I have to trust that I'll fly.
    I'm praying for this year to be my year.
    I just became so confused and depressed with life but I'm going to try and be ms. brightside and make all of my school year resolutions come true.
    I'm going to do well this school year.
    That picture up there.
    That is the picture of pure triumph.
    Today I purchased my first piece of Invader Zim merchandise.
    It makes me so happy inside.
    For those of you who are unaware: I'm OBSESSED with Invader Zim. Like obsessed.
    It's a wallet. ;3
    How was everyone's first?
    I also bought an iPod touch BEFORE REALIZING THE NEW ONE HAD COME OUT ALREADY T.T
    Should I sell the iTouch i just bought (3d gen.) and buy the 4th gen.?
    Or keep the 3rd gen?
    I bought the 3rd gen for $200 with 32 gb.
    What do you think?

    0 comments

    September 1st, 2010

  • forsakeninnocence snapped a picture

    08.17.10
    Faint.

    I am a little bit of loneliness a little bit of disregard
    Handful of complaints but I can’t help the fact that everyone can see
    these scars
    I am what I want you to want what I want you to feel
    But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe
    this is real
    So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do
    Face away and pretend that I'm not
    But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I got

    [Chorus]
    (I can't feel the way I did before)
    (Don't turn your back on me)
    (I won't be ignored)
    (Time won't heal this damage anymore)
    (Don't turn your back on me)
    (I won't be ignored)

    I am a little bit insecure a little unconfident
    Cause you don't understand I do what I can but sometimes I don't make
    sense
    I am what you never wanna say but I've never had a doubt
    It's like no matter what I do I can't convince you for once just to hear
    me out
    So I let go watching you turn your back like you always do
    Face away and pretend that I'm not
    But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I've got

    [Chorus]
    (I can't feel the way I did before)
    (Don't turn your back on me)
    (I won't be ignored)
    (Time won't heal this damage anymore)
    (Don't turn your back on me)
    (I won't be ignored)

    (No)
    (Hear me out now)
    (You're gonna listen to me, like it or not)
    (Right now)
    (Hear me out now)
    (You're gonna listen to me, like it or not)
    (Right now)

    (I can't feel the way I did before)
    (Don't turn your back on me)
    (I won't be ignored)

    [Chorus]
    (I can't feel the way I did before)
    (Don't turn your back on me)
    (I won't be ignored)
    (Time won't heal this damage anymore)
    (Don't turn your back on me)
    (I won't be ignored)

    I can't feel
    Don't turn your back on me
    I won't be ignored
    Time won't heal
    Don't turn your back on me
    I won't be ignored
    ____________________________________________________________
    Terrible mood.
    I'm kind of out of it.
    I had a random attack today.
    Or I started to.
    Blah, how was your day?

    2 comments

    August 17th, 2010

  • forsakeninnocence snapped a picture

    08.16.10
    You.

    You love the people that love you.
    You hear the music they move to.
    You give your ode to the fall through.
    But you don't know you don't know you don't know you don't know.
    You love the people that love you.
    You hear the music they move to.
    You give your ode to the fall through.
    But you don't know you don't know you don't know you don't know you.

    You just got off work, huh?
    Another night feeling like the worst one.
    You didn't even count your tips yet,
    But you can tell that it ain't no big step.
    I don't see why you so nice to customers
    They're all fucks and low lives.
    But don't fight, just keep the lip stiff
    And get that money it's the weekend shift.
    But why they all gotta be freaks.
    Wish they would just eat and leave.
    And keep they eyes to theyselves, already insecure, don't need any help.
    But you can blame the pride that makes you hold your anger inside,
    But deep down you wanna curse them all.
    Fuck off asshole jerk off dirt ball.

    You love the people that love you.
    You hear the music they move to.
    You give your ode to the fall through.
    But you don't know you don't know you don't know you don't know.
    You love the people that love you.
    You hear the music they move to.
    You give your ode to the fall through.
    But you don't know you don't know you don't know you don't know you.

    Now attitude check,
    Still show up? You haven't quit yet?
    And even when you're meek and sweet
    They still treat you like a piece of meat. Huh.
    Outrageous, each day this clock tick tock and you still a waitress.
    Trying to pay them student loans
    And the lights and the phone and the food and the home.
    And you ain't quite broke but you couldn't afford that place on your own.
    Gotta roommate, to split the rent with
    Now you never feel independent.
    And everything seems so hallow
    Cause after work, where'd that smile go?
    Better bring it back tomorrow.
    Now, pick up the pace and you might make bar close.
    Perfect, last call then some.
    Flirtin', sexual tension.
    Surfin', through them men
    Cause they all searching for that bent one.
    But just one to bend, and you look like you could be my friend.
    With a smile like that, I gotta flirt.
    Girl, you just look like you got off work.
    Huh.. huh... huh...

    You love the people that love you.
    You hear the music they move to.
    You give your ode to the fall through.
    But you don't know you don't know you don't know you don't know.
    You love the people that love you.
    You hear the music they move to.
    You give your ode to the fall through.
    But you don't know you don't know you don't know you don't know you.
    ____________________________________________________________
    <3
    Life is hectic, I'm broke, and I need funds of the monetary persuasion. On top of everything else, I'm WORKING; alas I don't complain.
    It's ok.

    0 comments

    August 16th, 2010

  • forsakeninnocence snapped a picture

    08.4.10
    010

    I am a black hole.
    That sucks the life out of everything that's there,
    and goes absolutely positively no where.
    I am a glass half empty.
    That's half full of pessmistic thoughts that do damage,
    and I'm producing them faster than I can manage.
    I am a murderer.
    Who has killed myself and oters internally; mentally and emotionally,
    and honestly completely, unintentionally.
    I am a human being.
    Who has made a million and one mistakes that I have not forgiven myself for,
    and who will make a million and one more.
    ____________________________________________________________
    Had an off day at work today.
    And now I just found out my brothers aren't coming over.
    I have therapy tomorrow morning.
    That up there above the line is a poem I wrote.
    Thoughts?

    4 comments

    August 4th, 2010

  • forsakeninnocence snapped a picture

    8.2.10
    All The Way Turned Up

    Oy vey, it's been a while, no?
    Summer is half way over and I have nothing exciting to tell you.
    I went to New Hampshire, kinda got a job, saw three movies [so far] whicch were, Toy Story 3D, Eclipse, and Inception, which I just saw last night.
    They were all amazing.
    I went to the mall a few times [Queens Center and Atlantic]
    Had two bbq's [one for July 5th and one for my parent's anniversary].
    And I got my nails done.
    Today I went to register to retake the regents. Which is in two weeks.
    So I'll be retaking Geometry and Chemistry.
    Oy vey, half of my summer is gone entirely, I hope the future holds more instore.
    Work is really fun, I'm a day camp counselor.
    My co-workers are cool, and I adore the kids.
    So why isn't life good right now?
    On the phone with Caroline or at least I was when I took the picture), but what else is new?
    We're both really depressed, but we're trying to keep our happy up.

    0 comments

    August 2nd, 2010

  • forsakeninnocence snapped a picture

    06.29.10
    I don't wanna be me

    I Don't Wanna be
    I Don't Wanna be me
    I Don't Wanna be me anymore

    Ever throwing at his home
    Two glass houses, twenty stones
    Fourteen yellow, six are blue
    Could it be worse.....quite doubtful

    I Don't Wanna be
    I Don't Wanna be me
    I Don't Wanna be me anymore

    I Don't Wanna be
    I Don't Wanna be me
    I Don't Wanna be me anymore

    Two steps forward, three steps back
    Without warning, heart attack
    He fell asleep in the snow
    Never woke up, died alone

    I Don't Wanna be
    I Don't Wanna be me
    I Don't Wanna be me anymore

    I Don't Wanna be
    I Don't Wanna be me
    I Don't Wanna be me anymore

    Please don't dress in black
    When you're at his wake
    Don't go there to mourn
    But to celebrate
    ____________________________________________________________
    Hey you guys.
    Today is the first official day of summer vacation and I went to a volunteering thingy since I didn't get a fucking job.
    84.69 average didn't help my transcript and neither will 90's next year but fuck it.
    I'm on the phone with my best friend Cara.
    We're both depressed but we're trying to keep our happy up.

    0 comments

    June 29th, 2010

  • forsakeninnocence snapped a picture

    06.20.10
    Light Up

    Ive been up for 4 days
    Getting money both ways
    Dirty and clean, I could use a glass of cold spades
    Rolexes, chauffeurs, and low fades
    I keep thinking how young can you die from old age
    The always tell me no one is working as hard as you
    And even though I laugh it off man its probably true
    Cuz while all of my closest friends out partying
    Im just here making all the music that they party too
    But party on, party on, all night n-gga
    I got these new rappers nervous prom night n-gga
    I grow tired of these f-cking grown man liars
    Story tellers, they aint even need a camp fire
    Uhh, but I just wanna tell the truth
    Before one of these haters load a couple shells and shoot
    This sh-t feel like when fredro star was a sunset park stunting hard in his yellow goose
    Ya, and ima motherf-cking missed target
    But a target none the less, and I just started
    Was that directed at Moi?
    Cant be, they must be talking to themselves Hov, hands free
    Yeah, and im just filling up this daily planner
    Getting busy cuz im a star, no spangled banner
    Jealous dudes get to talking in their music
    And I just say I wrote it for yo girlfriends Kelsey Grammar
    Yah, that’s what life becomes when you doing you
    Welcome to Hollywood don’t let this town ruin you
    And if you pillow talking with the women that are screwing you
    Just know that she gon tell another n-gga when she through with you
    Don’t get impatient when it takes to long
    And drink it all even when it taste too strong yeah
    I gotta feel alive, even if it kills me
    Promise to always give you me, the real me

    Who would have thought
    I’d be caught in this life?
    Let’s celebrate with a toast
    And get lost in tonight
    And make it all light up
    (Hey, Guru, tell hom’ to go to open that Ace right there),
    Wait until the sun goes down
    We gon’ make this bitch light up
    Even when the sun goes down
    I’m gon’ make this go

    OWWWWWWW, Hov turning heads like OWELSSSSS
    Im the man of the hour
    Triple entendre don’t even ask me how
    Con-Edison Flo I’m connected to a high power
    Bright lights will make your whole city light up
    A trillion watt light bulb when im in the night club
    I just landed in that G-450, caught the mayweather fight cuz his satellite was crispy
    Uhh, yall can miss me with the money talk
    The smart moneys on Hov, f-ck what the dummys talk
    I don’t do to much blogging, I just run the town, I don’t do to much jogging
    I aint gotta scar yet, you f-cking round with me and my dogs is far fetched
    Drake, heres how they gon come at you
    With silly rap feuds trying to distract you
    In disguise in the form of a favor
    The Barzini meeting, watch for the traitors
    Uhh, and ive seen it all done it all
    That’s why none of these dum dums could done him off
    The summers ours, the winter too
    Top down in the winter, that’s what winners do
    And to these n-ggas im like windows 7
    You let em tell it they swear that they invented you
    lyrics courtesy of www.killerhiphop.com
    And since no good deed go unpunished
    Im not as cool with n-ggas as I once was
    I once was, cool as the fonz was,
    but these bright lights turned me to a monster
    Sorry mama im promised they wouldn’t change me,
    but I woulda went insane, had i remain the same ME
    F-ck nggas, bitches too
    All I got is this money, this will do

    Who would have thought
    I’d be caught in this life?
    Let’s celebrate with a toast
    And get lost in tonight
    And make it all light up
    (Hey, Guru, tell hom’ to go to open that Ace right there),
    Wait until the sun goes down
    We gon’ make this bitch light up
    Even when the sun goes down
    I’m gon’ make this go
    _________________________________________________________
    This song can make me feel deeply.
    I don't know why or understand it.
    But I just want to hear it over and over and over again.
    It makes me feel when I'm empty.
    And even if that feeling is sadness, it's feeling.

    3 comments

    June 20th, 2010

  • forsakeninnocence snapped a picture

    06.15.10
    Lost Cause.

    Your sorry eyes; they cut through bone
    They make it hard to leave you alone
    Leave you here wearing your wounds
    Waving your guns at somebody new

    Baby you're lost
    Baby you're lost
    Baby you're a lost cause

    There's too many people you used to know
    They see you coming they see you go
    They know your secrets and you know theirs
    This town is crazy; nobody cares

    Baby you're lost
    Baby you're lost
    Baby you're a lost cause

    I'm tired of fighting
    I'm tired of fighting
    Fighting for a lost cause

    There's a place where you are going
    You ain't never been before
    No one left to watch your back now
    No one standing at your door
    That's what you thought love was for

    Baby you're lost
    Baby you're lost
    Baby you're a lost cause

    I'm tired of fighting
    I'm tired of fighting
    Fighting for a lost cause
    ____________________________________________________________
    Learning 10 months of chemistry in 13 hours is going to be physically impossible.
    Especially when I and going to be sleep for a majority of those hours.
    But we'll see if I can pull through.
    I hope and pray that I study.
    I'm so tired my eye balls could fall out.
    I've been listening to Beck all day.
    I love him.
    All his songs are amazing and they all have randomly creative music videos.
    <3 Love him.

    0 comments

    June 15th, 2010

  • forsakeninnocence snapped a picture

    06.14.10
    Devils Haircut

    Something's wrong 'cause my mind is fading
    And everywhere I look
    There's a dead end waiting
    Temperature's dropping at the rotten oasis
    Stealing kisses from the leperous faces

    Heads are hanging from the garbage man trees
    Mouthwash jukebox gasoline
    pistols are pointing
    At a poor man's pockets
    Smiling eyes ripping out of his sockets

    Got a devil's haircut in my mind
    Got a devil's haircut in my mind
    Got a devil's haircut in my mind
    Got a devil's haircut in my mind

    Love machines on the sympathy crutches
    Discount orgies on the dropout buses
    Hitching a ride with the bleeding noses
    Coming to town with the brief case blues

    Got a devil's haircut in my mind
    Got a devil's haircut in my mind
    Got a devil's haircut in my mind
    Got a devil's haircut in my mind

    Something's wrong 'cause my mind is fading
    Ghetto-blasting disintegrating
    Rock 'n' roll, know what I'm saying
    And everywhere I look
    There's a dead end waiting

    Got a devil's haircut in my mind
    Got a devil's haircut in my mind
    Got a devil's haircut in my mind
    Got a devil's haircut in my mind

    Devil's haircut! In my mind!
    Devil's haircut! In my mind!
    Devil's haircut! In my mind!
    ____________________________________________________________
    I love this song.
    Nowadays, I don't know what I want to listen to.
    Kid Cudi does make me happy.
    Every since my songs got deleted life has been continuously going down the drains.
    Fucked up my average.
    Fml.
    Oh well, once the next three days are over, I'm fucking free.

    0 comments

    June 14th, 2010

Nicole Davis is a 18 year old female from United States.

About

Well let's see... I enjoy everything about photography, I wish I could sing like I once could because I'm beginning to enjoy music MUCH more than I thought I ever would, I'm falling in love with dancing, everything about it. I like colors, I want to study photography, I like in New York, and I'm never happy. I'm bi, and forever single but what does that matter. I'd love to learn Hindi because I think it's a beautiful language, and I always like making new friends. Generally as long as they live some where in New York though because I would like to physically see them :D I'm a good person to talk to when you're having problems or just simply a bad day. I'm 15. :D

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