Between October, November and December, I can't help feel the essence of life.It seems like time to let go and begin anew and the anticipation of things to come...is bursting within.I'm trying not to feel like the burning of the things I would've done should matter now but more like what I need to do now.&& since its so... I have to face the reality of not turning back.So many people have been talking about how they miss their childhood's but it seems to me that there comes a point when you finally realize you can never truly return...like Rudolfo Anaya quotes. That you now can finally state "I am no longer a child." I must now learn to take care for my own future.The point when you realize ( like so many other teens) what is home? what is family?it's exciting but heartbreaking to feel the kind of innocence you once had like a flicker of light flashing in an instant and now you must question the innocence you will keep with you for eternity.
I think I understand now,the love my parent's have for me.How one day you're in a hospital room expecting the arrival ,the next they are taking their first steps, speaking their first words,crying about a new toy on a commercial, ...first crush, first kisses, first boyfriend's, first heartbreak...college... living with an empty home full of walls covered with four year old doodles and the missing of loud sounds your child made at home.I guess it is this that sent the my impulse to reflect on it all.
Really, this season is one of the most beautiful seasons to be.I do miss home.Now, I have to take the values my mom taught me on being a lady, the conversations about my faith with my dad, I know now that I am an individual human being...living the life my parent's told me wasn't going to be easy.
What a wonderful day today
It started off with a 60-second run to the shuttle
messy hair, no deodorant.
Got out of class
ambulances were at the college
some girl collapsed from an asthma attack,
ride the shuttle back with Claudia
in our white scarfs.
I type a 3-page essay in an hour, run to the shuttle again with Claudia's
laptop in hand.
Eat with my wonderful pals Stephenie and Mike and well some guy named Justin
and laugh my head off to mike's silly perverted humor.
I then realize that I need to get claudia's laptop charger,
lacrosse meeting first
then run to the bus again...
race to my dorm...get the charger
back to school
I finally had the chance to talk Matt
while waiting for Claudia
..ALL RUNNING TODAY! XD
print essay in library, run back to philo
ended with the shuttle leaving me while trying to get dinner
and getting a ride from Israel.
I got a letter from Celeste in the mail =)
I took a nice bubble bath,
my dad came over and we had some hot cocoa together :)
the only thing weighing me down
in the pit of my heart
is the poem Fernando wrote to me in an e-mail.
