Everybody says time heals everything.i keep getting emails from this website reminding me i havn't uploded anything! i upload my photos to my flickr instead!http://www.flickr.com/amyspanos365/
On the 4th July 2009 my friend Joe fell into a coma after a car accident. He was given a 1% chance of ever surviving. On the 18th September his machine was turned off and I watched as one of my oldest friends died next to me.
This situation has made me think so much. I've realized that I need to stop trying to manipulate my life. I am in control of what I do. And that's it. I am going to stop trying to make every single thing go my way. I'm learning to take life as it comes at me. And make the best of it. I have a passion...and now it's my turn. My job to turn what I've been given into something. And I realized, that I only need one person in my life to do that. And that's me.
I've been thinking so much...what do I want to be remembered for when I die? Do I want to be that person everyone loved? Or do I want to be the person everyone looked up to? The one they admired? Who do I want to be? Or rather...who am I? And sure, I may not have been through the things some of you have...but what I have been through has hurt too, and it has affected me. The things I experience everyday teach me something. But I think the biggest lesson I have learned through it all is to learn to let go. Life is short and precious, you get no second chance. Letting go is never easy. Because holding onto the past feels good. But sometimes, you need to let go...to make room for the rest of your life. I used to hold onto everything so tightly for fear that I might forget or it might slip away...that I suffocated it. It died. And all I was left with were broken memories. But I've let go. Because dwelling on the past never gets anyone anywhere. It was holding me back. I couldn't keep regretting things I had done..or said. Because there's nothing I can do about it now. It happened. And it happened for a reason. I may not know that reason right now, but someday...I will be thankful that it happened. Most people say "Live for today." But I say "Live for tomorrow." Because what's the point of living if you never have aspirations, dreams, plans or wishes? Life was made to be fulfilled. And I plan to do just that. I have dreams. I am going somewhere in life. You can join me or not, that's your choice. But either way, I'm going to succeed. Now i'm not only living for myself, i'm living for Joe. I've got this living thing down pretty good. Now all I need to start doing it.
On the 4th of July my friend Joe fell into a coma after a carcrash, last night I watched as one of my oldests friends machine was turned off.
I don't know what to do with myself at the moment.
Everyone I care about seems to be disapearing from my life.
I don't even know who's there for me anymore.
i'm terrified of everyone i care about falling asleep now, incase they never wake up.