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The one thing that can never be taken from you is your identity. Change your name as many times as you want, but you can't get away from it. You can never get away from those who bore you no matter how bad they have hurt you or how much they have scarred you. It's a hard thing to deal with especially when you have abusive parents who are constantly petrifying your life. It's within the silent letters of your last name that shows who you are and who you are related to. Try to get away from who your parents are, who your family is, but it's always there. Every single cut that you made on your body, every bad memory you have. Every vacation you went on with them fighting in the front seat and yelling at your siblings in the back. The dysfunction you tried to get away from all those years, only getting worse as you get older. There were signs from when you were a kid, but you never realized that it would get worse, you can't run from it. When you move out you will still receive phone calls from them asking why you haven't visited, there's no escape. When you get older and have your kids you repeat the same cycle that they enforced. All the same problems that they put on you, you put on them.

Your dad was an alcoholic and he beat your mum repeatedly. Soon you watched her pass before your very eyes. You were 5. Will you beat your wife? Will you let the blood that's within your father run through your blood. No. You will stand up. Face the problems. The blood may still be in you and you will always remember her cries as she took his fist to her mouth. You will always remember the bloody mess left on the floor, but it doesn't mean you can't improve from it. You decide that the spouse you are with will never be beaten and if things get abusive you will go straight to rehab so you will never hurt another soul.

Just because something is in you and you can't "get away" from it, doesn't mean you can't grow from it. Cancer may run in your family, but you may realize that because of the fatal illness you want to research it more in depth and help people with your "problem".

I know it may suck living with the things you do, but do know that it is for your growth. There is always a purpose for everything you go through. It's like they always say, there is always a silver lining on every gray cloud. One of my favorite movies being "A Series of Unfortunate Events" states the following:
"At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may, in fact, be the first steps of a journey."

It's so true guys, it really is. I pray that you can find the good in it and put away the bad. <3

I love you all. All 786 of you.

I do apologize for this sad bullshit, but I haven't been feeling the best.