It's actually quite sad how the only place I have to vent is my 'private' dailybooth because I don't want anyone to see me like this. I cant even trust anyone anymore. Im sick of people getting close to me and then just leaving me, like I'm a piece of trash. I need some stability in my life right now, but it doesn't look like I'm getting any. I thought you were one of my best friends, I didnt expect you to throw my whole life back in my face. 'At least my parents care about me, and haven't disowned me unlike yours.' I knew you were a bit of a bitch, but I didnt think you'd go that far. I told you all my secrets and now I'm scared you're going to tell everyone, just like how you started that rumour. All I do these days is walk in and out of hospitals for my stupid treatment, that isnt even fucking working. I just want to be a normal kid. Everyone thinks that not having parents tell you what to do is amazing. It's really not it's so shit. You have no one left to turn too. I actually tried my hardest this time to stop all my bad 'habits' and what for?? For nothing, because no one even cares. The last few nights I havent slept properly at all, all I've been dong is going for walks, and I'm losing my appetite. I've had these symptoms before and I know where this is going to lead, and I really don't want it too. Yet it's so easy to smile and pretend everythings okay, eventhough that's the biggest lie of my life I tell most people everyday. I never have serious conversations with hardly anybody anymore, because I jsut end u breaking down. Like the other day in the middle of class, I broke down for absolutely no reason, and when everyone asked me why I couldnt answer them.
Sitting in maths today to hear the girls behind me talking about me.
'She was so much prettier before she had leukaemia, now she just looks pale and ew.'
