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THE DAY I MET SARA SMITH AND FRIENDS O HAPPY DAY

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It's huuuge

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I think I look quite at home here.

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You are gone. I miss you so much; I couldn't describe the amount that I want to see you.

Sometimes I wonder what you would say of my accomplishments. Would you be proud? Would you care? It wouldn't even matter if you cared.

Sometimes I think what you would be doing. Four years is such a long time - look how different my life is. Would you be living in Texas? Would dad be married again?-or still married? How many beautiful hours would we be wasting doing pointless things?

Maybe you would be happy. Maybe you would be doing what you loved, and we would talk more, and everything wouldn't be so broken. Maybe you wouldn't be happy. Maybe you would be miserable, and we would all be so far away, and everything would be more broken than it is now.

I'll never understand why everything happens the way it does, but I don't try to anymore. Everything is so much bigger than we are, and if I tried to figure it out I would go insane always wondering. So I just continue living.

I remember when you said, "I am home."
I can't wait to come home.

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I wrote a letter to someone no longer in physical existence. And then I wrote it into a script and spoke with my friend. We're shooting it sometime in the next week. I'll let you know when it's published.

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Once again, I have proven that I am the most inconsistent dailyboother ever. At least you know I'm genuinely inspired when I do it? ;P That's what I tell myself. I wanna be one of you guys... Really.

Christmas was simple, and perfect. I'm stranded, friendless in a foreign state and babysitting, so you'd think it would suck.. But honestly, it was great. Just me and Jesus. Some years, it's good to just reflect. Next year can be a party. (:

I got glasses, today. Beyond that, I've been pondering a book called 'Ethics' by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. I feel kind of like it's trying to trick me into a cultist thought process, quite frankly. O.o But hey, I keep reading.

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Today at a work a little boy wrote a letter to Santa for me telling him how good I was, then he drew a picture of me and him and our brains to show Santa how smart we were. A lot of circling and check marks were also added. That's a pretty good recommendation! I think I might actually get presents this year.

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Mrow

A conversation among 5 very different people came about on the train today. An Asian man who missed his stop, a debatably homeless man with a present, a white professor-looking gentleman, a deeply religious black woman with an attitude until she got a seat, and myself. Fun crowd.