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SophieCyanidex

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SophieCyanidex snapped a picture

this may be a smile, but it's not real.

I've got so much inside me that I've just needed to let out for a while, and I'm gona use this to do it as not many people I know use it anymore.

I feel so trapped.
I'm not over my ex in the slightest.
Other guys I'm close to keep telling me they like me.
I don't want to hurt anyone.
I'm getting hurt by them telling me they like me everyday.
I can't really handle it at the moment.

Normally I'm quick at moving on, I don't like being single.
My disorder makes it difficult for me to be in relationships, but even more difficult to be out of them.
This is the longest I've been single in over 3 years.
And I'm not looking for anything.

I hate how much my ex hurt me.
And I hate how I can't really develop much feelings for anyone else.
I do not trust anyone.

I feel like nobody understands anything that I'm thinking.
I can't tell anyone how I'm really feeling, as I think they get fed up of me or might think I'm overreacting all the time.

I don't see much point in my life at the moment.
I'm not saying I'm suicidal, or anything like that.
Just, don't have a happy life right now.

Family are always having a go at me, and it seems that I can't do anything right.

I miss my ex, and his cuddles.
I miss cuddles, and relationships in general.
But I can't get over him, and I'm not entirely sure what I want.

My head is in such a mess right now.
I honestly don't know what to do with myself.

I'm in physical pain as well as mental, as I was in hospital for a scan, and I'm really sore abdominally. They still do not know what's wrong and I'm a little bit worried..

Fuck knows.
To anyone who gets this far; I'm sorry you read that. But in a way, thankyou.

1 comment
March 11th, 2012
SophieCyanidex snapped a picture

Came on here looking for a specific picture about an hour ago..
Saw the pictures of me + my ex, and all the stuff I wrote about how he made me feel.. Been in tears ever since.

How the fuck are you supposed to get over someone?
Cause as far as I'm concerned, any other relationship I've tried to have just fucks up. I know I'm better off without him, and he's been with another girl for a few months now, but I hate how I still feel for him.

I feel so pathetic and vulnerable.
I don't really know what to do with myself.. I've only just started to find my feet + I get thrown off track again.

Just so empty.

0 comments
February 24th, 2012
SophieCyanidex snapped a picture

i look disgusting today so say hello to my jared leto wall<3!!

i just made my tunnel bleed D:

how is everyone today?
i'm currently watching High School Musical.... NO idea why. it's shite. + i'm ashamed to say that i still remember all of the lyrics D: !

welcome to my friday night...
in bed, watching shite movies, cuddling a hot water bottle +eating chocolate mousse. mmmmm...

bye<3

ps. follow on twitter?(a). https://twitter.com/Slutbag_

0 comments
December 9th, 2011
SophieCyanidex snapped a picture

haaai guys.

just a quick booth to say it would be great if you guys could give me a hand in winning these vouchers?
just like this photo if you have a spare minute.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=2724254792139&set=o.155268077862444&type=1&theater

i'll be veryvery greatful.

byee<3.

0 comments
November 29th, 2011
SophieCyanidex snapped a picture

me and my boy again.

yes MY boy, because he is MINE.
don't know why people have a problem with that tbh :L

i actually can't describe anything he makes me feel.
it's crazy.
i get butterflies when i think of him.
he makes me smile so easily it's ridiculous. the memories i have with him make me smile like an idiot.
he makes me truly happy. and i'm amazed to say i make him happy too.

i need him in my life.
i don't want anyone else.
he is literally everything to me..

even if i attempt to tell him every minute of every day it will still only be a fraction of how much he actually means to me.
attempt, because words don't seem to come close to what i actually feel.

don't like saying this much, but i've had time on my own without him. and it completely destroyed me. it's made me realise how much i depend on this boy.
i adore everything about him.

i honestly can't see myself with anyone else.
i'd be happy to spend every single second with this boy until the day i die.

i love you Jake. <3

0 comments
November 25th, 2011
SophieCyanidex snapped a picture

not sure whether i like this picture or not..

but anyway.
it's 2.49am, and i'm still up watching The Little Mermaid.

got exams in two days.
wooo.
have i done any revision?
no i have not.

faaabulous.

i seem to have completely lost any sort of sleeping pattern i had.
and i have lost my appetite.
mum took me and my sister to chiquitos for lunch today. to try and refuel my appetite. but it didn't work. and i felt bad for not being able to eat it ):

gona go finish watching my movie now.
byes.

0 comments
November 13th, 2011
SophieCyanidex snapped a picture

HAI.

shitty photo.
but care.

BYE.

4 comments
November 13th, 2011
SophieCyanidex snapped a picture

this is me and my boy again.

i'm not afraid to be myself around him.
i say whatever random shite i wan't.
i can pull the most unattractive faces known to humanity and he still smiles and holds me close.
i love his cuddles, feel like i could be in his arms until i die.
simply; he makes me very happy.
we always have banter. like our tamagotchi baby. or incense sticks instead of sparklers cause we're maaad. or even the first time we ever started speaking he stuck his fingers up at me and my reply was an amused "you have weird fingers" .
he's seen me at my worst. he's dealt with me being a complete moody cunt. he knows i'm hard to handle at times. yet he's still here and still needs me as much as i need him.
and this is why we work so well together.

none of the 13 year old pishy " i luv u bbz. mine 4evaaa!"
i swear i'll never get tired of this boy.

that will be all. <3

6 comments
November 9th, 2011
SophieCyanidex snapped a picture

me and my little Ivy <3.

kinda feeling terrible at the moment.
anyone know that feeling, where you're pretty sure you're never ever going to see someone again? and you don't even know if they're alive?
no?
well it's a fucking painful one.

not much else to say right now.. :/
bye x

0 comments
November 8th, 2011
SophieCyanidex snapped a picture

hey there.

this is me and my boy.. :)
he means the world to me..
and stuff.

if anyone else tries to come between us i swear i'll have some bitches head on a coathanger in my wardrobe. :)

tired ):

gona go to sleep now.
night <3

tags for my bitches+hoes.
@MrsBatmanEater @BatmanEater @RIOT_lover @Drummond @Dippys_Awai @OathOfKyle @Kiefer182 @brice182 @BornForHell
don't remember any others.. byeee :D

2 comments
November 6th, 2011
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Sophie is a female from United Kingdom.

About

Hai. Im Sophie (:
music, town, friends, photography.<3 i love anything that makes me smile :)

There are few people i truly trust, so i'm holding on to the ones i do with all my strength.

Jake; even if we're apart, i'll always be with you.

Following them

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Music

Marilyn Manson.., Rise Against.., Placebo.., 30 Seconds To Mars.., Greenday.., Avenged Sevenfold.., + alot more.

Websites

http://www.formspring.me/SophieCyanidex
http://www.facebook.com/RaawrItsSophie
http://www.snogmarryavoid.me/SophieCyanidex

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