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Nr. 931 ~

Today was a little opera, fraught with Sisyphean challenges and soul-sucking entanglements.

My opera today: I provide stage directions and libretto, stole a Mozart concerto (or, at least, one movement) for the SINFONIA, so you will have to provide the musical score to bring this to life. OK? ~

SINFONIA:

http://youtu.be/7L1qShwgvAg


ATTO PRIMO

[Douglas is at home, opening the daily mail,. He is happy because one is from the County Treasurer's office, and can contain only one thing: His car plates, tags, proof of insurance, and registration. Aw, you are so perspicacious: It will contain four things!]

RECITATIVO "Alas, a small clerical error..." [Douglas]

Alas! A small clerical error,
[Douglas steps away from the table to find his phone and telephone book]
but what if I had put them on my car and got stopped by the police?
With my mouth, I'd get maced or worse. Yeah.
Yeah. With my mouth, I'd get maced or worse.
I'd get maced or worse, yes, with my mouth,
I'd get maced or worse.
Or worse!
With my mouth!

[Heart-rending sobs cascade from Douglas' very soul!]

[Douglas continues] OR WORSE!"

[Douglas tosses his hair, brings arm up to brow, and lets out an
existential sigh of anguish. His soul aches with the acknowledgement that Kafka got it right: The world is a horror chamber of bureaucratic Catch 22s seasoned with hot sauce and, umm, crap!]

ARIA "I almost missed the fact..." [Douglas, sobbing still]

I almost missed the fact that
the new plates I got in today's mail are NOT mine.
Though my registration came with the package,
everything else
[Douglas' moods lightens in the moment of realization]
- plates, tags, proof of insurance- belong to a specific person!
- huzzah!-
her name and address were on the proof of insurance card.

RECITATIVO "A hurried phone call..." [Douglas]

A hurried phone call
- it was almost lunchtime at the courthouse-
and I let the County Treasurer's office know of the clerical error,
left my particulars,
...and waited,
...and waited.

For a call back to support the supposition
that my plates, tags, and proof of insurance
likely went to the lady whose plates, tags, and proof of insurance
I got in the mail today.
It took at least five minutes.

Yes, I waited almost five minutes.
Five minutes I could have used to complete this afternoon's plans,
Yes this afternoons plans,
but I waited almost five minutes for the call.
Almost five minutes for the call.
Five minutes almost.
For the call.
FOR THE CALL!

RECITATIVO "I think that's so." [County Treasurer's office lady]

I think that's so.
Would you mind contacting the lady to verify this is what happened
to make the plate, tag, and proof of insurance exchange?
Would you mind?
Would you mind?
Would you mind at all?

ARIA: "Sure, why not?" [Douglas, agitato]

Sure, why not?! Anything to straighten this out.
Anything to straighten this out. Sure, why not?!
Anything to straighten this out. Sure, why not?!
Sure, why not?! Anything to straighten this out.
To straighten this out.
Anything.
Anything.
To straighten this thing out.

[He yells, tormented tears form in his eyes]

SURE, WHY NOT?!

ATTO SECONDO:

RECITATIVO "The lady lives in the country..." [Douglas]

The lady lives in the country, is my mother's generation,
so I know it'll be easier for me to do than for she.
To do it.
Easier for me.
To do it. For me.

ARIA "I contacted her..." [Douglas]

I contacted her, but had to speak with her brother-in-law.
(I think...a man representing her, anyway.)

He took down my address;
was to check her mail for my plates, tags, and proof of insurance;
and said he'd come in to town this afternoon for the exchange.

RECITATIVO "I shall bring them down!" [Male relative of lady]

I shall bring them down, yes,
I shall bring them down.

This afternoon, I shall bring them down,
yes,this afternoon.
This afternoon!
YES!

da capo

ATTO TERZO:

RECITATIVO "You know I have...:" [Douglas]

You know I have a quality assurance background,
one that leaves me very judgemental
about error. Yes, ABOUT ERROR!

ARIA "I'm wearing myself out..." [Douglas]

I'm wearing myself out NOT getting upset about this.
Mmmm. Mmmmm. Mmmmmm.
I'm not upset.
I will not get upset.
Mmmm. Mmmmm. Mmmmmm.

I am, however, tied down to home until he shows up.
I did have other plans for the afternoon,
plans that involve purchase of yet another recliner
for my mother in the care center.
Another recliner. Another recliner.
Another recliner for Mom!

[Douglas breaks into loud sobs of anguish: this will be the fifth or sixth recliner he's had to buy since 2007!]

Basta! Enough! There is a long story about that.
I'm too tired thinking about getting a new chair
to work up a head of steam on this one. Yet.
No steam yet!
No steam.
Yet no steam. Yet!

Mmmm. Mmmmm. Mmmmmm. I'm not upset.
Mmmm. Mmmmm. Mmmmmm. I'm not upset.

No, I am not upset!

YET!

[Douglas breaks out into manical laughter, and tosses back a tumbler of single malt Scotch whisky, for he lives in a dark, dark world! A dark stream runs through it.]

IT ENDS [Curtain closes on Douglas laughing, staggering, and waiting for the man with the misposted plates, tags, and proof of insurance.]

=(^+^)==(^+^)==(^+^)==(^+^)==(^+^)==(^+^)==(^+^)==(^+^)=

This little scene ended without horrors or complications within 55 minutes of Douglas noticing the discrepancy. Too bad! It would have made a terrific opera the way it was headed!

So, I didn't get mad, and the man brought my plates, tags, and proof of insurance into town before half an hour of contacting them had passed!

I was working myself up into a Grade 10 Hissy, a Richter 8.9 Temper Tantrum, and the whole business was over, no issues or delays, within an hour.

I'm glad I talked myself down. It isn't a good idea to let Louie know that tantrums are OK. His catastrophic, cattacular cat fits are terrible to behold.

And he has claws!

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