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Careful girls, fat guys just wanna get inside your pantries.
May 14th, 2012
Cat: Meow Me: Meow? Cat: Meow meow Me: Holy Shit, I speak cat.
May 2nd, 2012
Teacher: Now kids, I want you to fold your paper lengthwise. Me: Bitch, hamburger or hotdog?
April 18th, 2012
Alien 1: “Did the humans receive our message?” Alien 2: “Yes, but they named it dubstep and they dance to it.”
February 2nd, 2012
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
January 23rd, 2012
The awkward moment when you make eye contact with someone.. Through the crack in a bathroom stall.
January 14th, 2012
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list..
December 16th, 2011
I personally have never seen a tombstone that read: "Died from not forwarding that text to ten friends."
September 14th, 2011
LOL @ guys that post shirtless pictures, but have nothing to show.
September 7th, 2011
Right when you stop wanting someone they come back into your life..
August 30th, 2011
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♥ Alexis is a female from United States.
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