nearly did it. nearly broke up. i cant believe she can think she can justify her meaness and rudeness, and say that i cause it?!
she has the gaul to call me "getting crazier" when she starts massive arguments over things like, when i said "ok whatever" saying that i didnt care about the previous argument which we had, which was over my laptop being broken after only a month, and me calling the design of the broken part a bad design, she got pissed off by me saying whatever, so i said "sorry, i take back whatever" and she goes fucking mental saying i "should have said 'i take it back'" and then later saying that she thought i was being sarcastic, which my tone completely did not imply, then later says that she thought i said "i take it back, whatever" and then said that i was misleading her. when i said i wasnt, i didnt say that, and that all i was trying to say was an apology which she misinterpreted/misheard, again, fireworks and slathers of blame onto me for no apparent reason.
she makes things up, throws a tantrum like a 3 year old (even stamps her feet) and then throws another one if i catch her out, but she never admits that i have...ever.
if im going to end it, it wont be in a fight. it will be amicable, im at least civil.
Failing to comprehend how someone who professes to like you can treat you so badly, and called out upon it can be so flagrantly defensive of their actions and pathologically offensive in your mere questioning of their actions towards you. Confessing that they are indeed rude and offensive, but seeing no fault in being so. Admitting to double standards, unfairness and not caring, and glorifying these faults in such a belligerent way.
with the best intentions in hand, it seems they are worth nothing.
bend over backwards, change, offer to do things, only to be told you aren't caring or think about them, when its the only think you do.
under a constant barrage of abuse, from arguments to emotional blackmail, to entrapment.
when you give a posotive outlook and it gets turned into a negative one.
if you don't defend yourself you are weak. if you answer the question why, you are creating bad feelings. if you rightfully defend yourself you're always thinking you're right. if you apologise, it doesnt mean anything.
you show love but only get hurt back, making it harder to show love, and then its your fault you arent showing emotion.
you have confidence, but then you get into trouble out of nowhere which drops your confidence. Where did that trouble come from? was it something i did? is it something else? is it me? how can you keep confidence if you cant even see trouble coming.
if you offer to do something, the answer is no, then later on you are scolded for not doing it.
when it seems in the give and take all you do is give, but get accused that you arent giving enough.
