Wow its been a while i must say!! :) little update for you all... Im going on Xfactor on Saturday in Manchester.. my nerves are all over the place, i started a new job on Monday working in a call centre! its good, although i just feel so tired and under the weather. Me and Ryan after two year have decided to call it a day and come to a mutual agreement that maybe we should just be friends before i start to hate him :( i dont want to hate him, i just cant go on like this anymore and things have to change...... All this change... is it for the good or bad! who will know.
I just want to be happy.
Okay... I'm sorry i havent updated in a few weeks.. ALOT has happened.
1. I quit my job at Alea casino.
2. I told my mother i didnt want anything to do with her anymore, packed my things and left Leeds.
3. Went to Darwen to be with the only person i know.. Ryan
4. Found out that Ryan had been with other girls while he was supposed to be showing me he changed :(:(:(
Now i don't know what to do with myself
....
Also i signed on :/ :/ i need a job!!!! and fast!!
Still ow wonga £545 :/ :/ :/ BUT i have the money to pay that and pay for Christmas.. so thats okay :D:D
Not to sure on what and where i am right now... trying keep my head clear but after everything... its impossible.. cant stop thinking all the time!!!!! I dont want to live life without him... because he is my life... BUT it hurts too much at the moment :(
Sooo i finished Black ops in 8 hours.. good for one nights workk...
I need a job
I need some money
I need a friend
I need someone to diminish this lonely feeling i seem to be getting alot of :(
I need someone to knock some sense into that boys head! :( MER
Im'a going out tonight.. and i WILL have a good time!! :D:D
Well its lovely to know that after a year and four month with someone you 'thought' loved you.. they can just write you off like that because apparently its the best thing... 'You know what fuck it I'm done, was nice knowing you <<lovely that init... hows that for the best lmao :(
Okay not going out.. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I feel really lonely! </3
Really want some alcohol :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:( shops are closed..
Alcohol and music with help....
Times like this.. i think about Ryan :( i just dont want him in my head anymore gods sake!... Just wanna move on.. but when you aint got anything at all to look forward to.. its times like this.. THAT SUCK DICK!
Wont help but rant done :)
Now i think i am going to self destruct.. good bye :)