@RickyT i'm pretty sure there are three stories about homosexual relationships in the bible.. it also annoys me that most people that are against LGBTs use the bible as a tool to voice their ideas. It's just fear that fuels the dickheads out there.
I've never been a proud gay.
Why have a gay parade when they don't have straight ones?
Would straight people mind me attending their parade?
I think being overly proud distances you from everyone else.
Being different is fine, but then again, not being the same is scary for me. Y'know? However comfortable I may be.
I'm sitting here at my desk, having jsut put together some of the last of my belongings for when i move in to my dorm tomorrow.
And what am I doing now? Crying my eyes out.
I've never cried from happiness before in my life, and I imagine I only will one more time in my life, when I meet Gaga.
But this day, this final day is the cumulation of EVERYTHING I've been working to for the past 6 years.
I've tried my hardest to just get through all the pain of my growing up. The inner battles with my self and who I am, finally coming out victorious after a few years of fighting with self-acceptance. Finally I could identify as Gay without being sick with myself.
Being the straight-forward person I am, the obvious next step was to tell my the people who are supposed to love me unconditionally, my parents.
After immediately being faced with rejection from them, I had to go back into hiding. Try my best to not express who I was for fear of having more cruel comments thrown my way (most often from my mother). I managed for a few more years.
Eventually, I started being who I wanted to be, myself. But any action I made that would even indirectly make me seem gay would unleash more brutal attacks from my mother. It quickly got to the point where we both grew rather sick of eachother. And for the past couple years I've had to deal with my parents telling me I'm not right, I won't ever be, I'm sick, I'm gross, I'm disgusting, I'm going to hell. What have you.
In the back of my mind I knew that I just had to tough it out for a few more years and I could be free, and that has been motivating me through all my hardships to get to this point.
I can't lie and say it stopped hurting, it always hurt and it always will.
But all I know is that there are people out there who love me for who I am, and accept me for who I am. And finally for the fist time in my life, I will get to be around those people all the time, I will finally get to be free my family and their restrictions on me, cutting me off from friends, hoping that it would somehow straighten me out. I can finally have a life.
I'm not sure if I got my point accross, this was a really emotional post for me, I'm just so, FUCKING HAPPY. Next time you see me I'll be starting my real life.
Thanks for your kinds words of encouragement and hope all this time, you have no idea how much you've helped me and I can't ever thank you all enough.
Student of life, little bit crazy, hates being bored but is accustomed to it, i do like chicken noodles, i try to fuck normality. I am Josh, who are you?