Merrh, feel like a melodramatic teenager whining all the time. when i feel relativly human again i look back on how shitty and wahhy i am when i feel like this and i hate myself because its pathetic and stupid and there are so many other good things going on or even still, worse things, and im being a shitty little first world problems complainer.
i miss my best friend.
my leg hurts, and it feels amazing.
made an ultimate tit of myself in 02 today, my friend whiped my phone after trying the password incorrectly so many times, and i had to go begg them to help me get some stuff back, not remembering what pictures were on there.... but they gave me that look, even though they hadn't seen the pictures, it was there in their eye, i know why you don't want me to check your pictures. young lady. you discust me.
i was mortified. and i hate simon forever for his shitty behaviour and whiping my phone so i had to go through it all.
SO MUCH EFFORT. cba. want to go to bed and be more whiney and melodramatic.
my eyes and face are all red and puffy from crying so much the last few days. i look hideous, so here is an old picture of me.
i want to talk to someone, so i don't feel so alone in all this. so if you're feeling lovely, please inbox me. :)
i found this really old picture of me and my best friend poppy.
its only recently i've realised how much i've distanced myself from all of my closest friends. and how alone i really feel.
i don't feel i have anyone to talk to. and i know there are people out there who will offer me their shoulder. but i dont feel comfortable doing it. and the one person who i did open up to.
just made things worse. and it all feels hideous.
what do you do when you realise the people you consider your best friends don't consider you theirs?
Died my hair again, but this time i didn't use the entire tubey thingy, so im shitting it thinking that i've got some random patch of hair not the same colour as the rest of it D:
oh wells, i guess i'll find it eventually. :)
i love the smell of hair dye. i think i'm the only one though :P
it was going to be an " OH MY GAWD GUYS I'VE LOST SO MUCH WEIGHT LOOK AT HOW PRETTY I AM NOW"
but i cba to get up and take a good enough picture.
well i guess the weight loss is the ONLY good thing to come out of being hideously ill for the past three weeks
yeah. you heard right three weeks.
i'm finally feeling better and am going outside for the first time in FOREVA! :D woo! so happy
also am wearing my new bra! :D i haven't had a bra that fits me for about four months now, finnally went out and bought some new ones last month, but been too ill to really bother wearing them.
so today is a happy day for slutty emma :)
Woo.
:D
so i spent ages trying to get Benbear in the right place so it'd look awesome. but in the end i had to do some ammature paint cropping. but i dont care. im keeping it. procrastination to the max. :) x
BLAH!
well, i tried the attraactive approach. and this was far better guys, trust.
so im not really sure how everyone copes. i feel like i've been living in this dream world for the past how ever long and just going through the motions of relality whilst my head had been on a completely other world. suddenly im plonked back down on earth realising what i've been doing for the past forever has been noting compared to what i should have been donig. BY JOVE theres alot of work in A-levels. did you know that? i sure didn't. im stressed to the max about work and i some how can not manage to deal without a break down atleast once a day (at the start) i've calmed it down to about once a week. but this week (weekbefore all my cw has to be in) its gone back to twice already this week. i think everyone else is feeling the stress too and my three best friends in the world are too busy for me. owchies. speaking to chris he says its all part of growing up. trying his hardest to not be patronising but we all knew he was being so. and as a child i just said NO. no i dont like it. no i dont want it. take it back. no!
anyway a stressy whiney emma post. as. per. usual.
its not the most attractive photo, but i CCCCCCCbs to take another :P
me and Christopher broke up, officially, finally, definitely.
and its Christmas eve.
merry Christmas every Christian.
and happy holidays and or free day off work everyone else! :)
the cats have got fleas! D:
its hideous! we've spent the entire day cleaning the house and the sofas and the bedsheets and the clothes and well. everything. blegh. HIDEOUS
oh and the cats we cleaned them too :P
