Hai errrybudddyyyyyy.
Dizz iz @Brandonbop
I'M TOTALLY FILLIN' IN FO'. MELAWNIE, CUZ SHE SO CUTE AND SHIII.
but I apologize ahead of time for anyone that is sucked into reading anything I am saying.
I will warn you for the next 1000 characters of text or so, it will be about @CornPuff, and how much of a faggot he is.
I mean, he goes on and says extremely hurtful things. I say hurtful things, but I never go below the belt and talk about personal issues that would hurt anyone deeper than getting a stick or a stone throw at them.
He very well might be the most insensitive person I've ever met on the internet. Call me gay for being sensitive, but I can honestly say I really want to see The Notebook since @Mitchregis is in it.
LOL, just kidding mitch.<3
Okay, lets start out when I first met @CornPuff. I'm pretty sure it started out with everyone making fun of his name, and inserting his name into movie titles.
In example.
The Corpse Bride?
More like...
Bryce Fucks dead bodies.
See, things like that. It's magical. I have a tumblr link to it. If you want to see about 2 hours worth of byrces name typed into funny movie titles, please message me on @Brandonbop.
It's a blast.
Well, that was the first night I had heard anything of him. I had no idea who @CornPuff was for about 3 hours, but I think I may have brutally made fun of him. See, there's that insensitivity I was talking about, but from me. I mean, yeah talking about a black man choking Bryce with his penis is a pretty low blow, but it's still pretty far above the belt.
I mean... HE MADE A VERY PRETTY GIRL SAD. LIKE, HE WENT THE EXTRA MILE, PULLED PERSONAL BIZZ OUT, AND THEN BROUGHT HER DOWN ABOUT IT. HONESTLY. WHO WOULD EVER DO THAT?
That would be like telling me "Hey, when you were in the hospital with an infected kidney, I wish you died"
It's been said to me before. It was a bad night. That's okay though. Not important now, but anyways. That's basically the equivilant of what @CornPuff said or would say to anyone if he were talking to them over the internet.
LET ME JUST TYPE THAT IN CAPS.
OVER THE INTERNET.
He's just some thug ass brofag acting all tough over the internet. Making fun of everyone who doesn't like him, or makes fun of him for being a brofag, but that's fine. He can keep his E-peen and keep being a dickassbonerslammer with anyone he wants, just when he's a bonerslammer to me or anyone I associate with, he is going to get bonerslammed back.
I mean, the night I found out about him I was just so astounded at how ridiculously douchalicious he was. That night I took the liberty of going through all twenty some of his pictures and writing little and or paragraph responses to these said pictures making fun of him. Like honestly, it was the easiest thing to do, because this so called "19 year old going on 20" is a complete idiot.
Like seriously, who types like this anymore? "ppl liked me b4 i wuz a fggt." and let me ask that question loosely, because I will be honest. I type like that, but only as a joke and to sound extremely sarcastic. This Twatzilla actually types like that. He spelled aren't like arn't.
The cockblaster even had the audacity to add the '. Really?
I'm trying to figure out if he has any friends in real life other then really fake bro people who are just assholes to everyone because they're self concious about something or trying to make all their bro friends like them.
That is the only reason they are friends with eachother. I've noticed it's a race to the title of King of Douche Mountain. Like, Douchies one is the king of the douches. I am positive that Bryce is not King of douche mountain because he's not smart enough to be King of Douche Mountain.
If you go look at all the responses he's made back to anything I said, it's either about my forehead wrinkles or about how much I'm sweating his nuts. I couldn't be sweating his nuts less, trust me.
If he thinks I'm anywhere near enjoying his nuts, he is completely wrong. that is the last person on the face of this very cute and adorable planet that I would ever want to be infatuated with.
Sometimes I wish I could just set a various assortment of boobytraps all throughout his house, the final one being some super insane castration device that the guys from Myth Busters made, or something. I'm not saying they made one, but that'd be really cool.
BUT SERIOUSLY. I THINK BRYCE SHOULD BE CASTRATED.
That's not a low blow at all.
To much?
No, I don't think so.
Not enough I don't think.
LIKE, I SHUFFLED THROUGH HIS PICTURES ON DAILY BOOTH. AND WHO THE FUCK IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WEARS STUNNA SHADES? and like, some people have pretty cool ones, I wont lie. Like black people. Bryce isn't black though.
Seriously, he just looks like a douche. Without the glasses, too.
One day, I hope he goes to china or something. maybe even japan. Whichever one has ninjas, and or samurai. Even though samurai and ninja don't like eachother, but whatever. EITHER WAY. I HOPE THEY TAKE HIM, AND THEY COMPLETELY FORGET THEIR HONOR CODE OR WHATEVER AND MAKE HIS COCKASS SUFFER. You know? Perhaps hang him on a wall all tied up and throw ninja stars at him. Would be nice.
Or perhaps get olympians to throw javalians at him. I'd pay per view dat shit, brah.
Like, I just imagine Bryce as the kid trying to ride really fast down a steep hill on a bike, onto a dirt ramp on one side of a river, trying to gap over the river to the other side of the river to impress girls.
but when he is thinking how terribly rad this is gonna be, and places one foot on the ground and the other on his peddle, accidentally missing the middle, hitting the back of the peddle and it flipping around hitting him in the shin, already giving him a bad start at this "Impressing these hawt ass bitches" thing he's got going on. Everyone on the sidewalks of the hills, being these said "hawt chix", are honestly just talking among their selves about how gay bryce is and how stupid and idiot he is for trying to gap over this 30 foot river. Honestly. I'd throw a large rock at the side of his head so he fell down half way down the hill.
but let you know, I wont need to do that, because something even better is going to happen.
The day before he tried this stunt, there was a very windy thunderstorm, so there is a lot of brush on the streets. Twigs, leaves, BIGGER TWIGS.
Anyways, when bryce is done rubbing his shin like a faggot, He finally gets started.
10 feet down the hill, a BIGGER TWIG, gets stuck in his spokes. his front spoke, so he violently flips over his handle bars and smashes his face on the ground and starts crying. Everyone laughs extremely hard, people are talking about how they are so lucky to have gotten that on camera and are immediately going home to upload it on youtube. It's pretty much the best day of everyone's lives, except for bryce. Because he's a fat dumb fuck who craves attention and is a complete fuck.
I mean, I bet if I talked to him on skype, I'd fall asleep.
Either way. I am terribly sorry for this huge post.
PLEASE, POST PICTURES OF YOUR FOREHEAD WRINKLES. YOU KNOW?
TO SHOW @CornPuff THAT EVERYONE FUCKING HAS THEM AND THEY ARE NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF.
and everyone following Melawnie. You guiz r beautiful and I hope you have the best lives anyone has ever wished for. If you're not doing well, please! Stop :D be well. Atleast you're not bryce <3
