I feel broken these days, only because I don't understand what have happened to us. We were so perfect and now, we have hit rock bottom. It kills me to see you look at me emotionless, and I have to put on a fake smile when really, I just wanna scream and cry. I am confuse now.
I'm more scare then I've ever been...
I sent her a message on tumblr telling her that she's fine, that she's wayy to skinny and that I'm scare for her...
She then post (not to me, but for the whole world to see) That I'm making her fat..cos I'm forcing food down her throat...okay, cool...I don't understand it. If she doesn't eat, no big deal..if I do, big deal. She makes herself throw up, no big deal. I make myself throw up, she lectures me. She cuts, no big deal. I cut, end of world. I can't do it anymore...I too stress..I can't handle this. I just wanted to help..is that too much? I feel useless, she doesn't need me then.
Tonight is the Christmas party...I'm so ready to face her..to face him..to face them. I won't cry when I get home..oh who am I kidding? Yeah, I'll cry myself to sleep and I'll wish dreadful thoughts. Okay, okay...Well...yeah.
