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AndrewKeech

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What can change what we believe?

Our beliefs are influenced by many things: arguments, logic, important people in our lives. However, I think what has the most profound impact on belief (for me at least) is personal experience.

It is my nature to be trusting. It is my nature to be gullible and believe that people are not lying to me (at least not intentionally). However, when I encountered someone who fully intended to lie to me about something important I quickly became aware that my ideal meant nothing to certain people. Before that period of disillusionment, it was not enough for people to tell me that someone was lying or present facts or statistics that proved they were lying because I would not believe it. I had to feel it for myself; I had to endure that full hurtful impact of a single lie from a person I trusted with my whole heart. After it happened, I became aware that it is not enough to believe things people say just because they say it is true.

I think some people are different though. I think some people's beliefs are more concrete and they hold their ideals even through periods of personal strife. Take Anne Frank for example. Anne Frank endured living in an attic for over a year from fear for the safety of her and her family. However, even during that period of pure torment she still writes in her diary that, "Even after everything, (she) still believe(s) that people really are good at heart". This makes absolutely no sense when people have so clearly betrayed her yet she still holds her ideal to be true. It may not be right, but it is what she WISHES were right.

So what can change what we believe? Sometimes nothing can change it. Sometimes the belief holds so much importance that even through periods that wholly contradict what the belief holds to be true the belief stays intact. Sometimes though, when reality trumps ideals and a person learns through hardship that his/her beliefs are not always accurate, the belief has to grow and evolve- or disappear entirely.

Some people, I think, must hold faith in an ideal that may never be met while others face the taste of a true but bitter reality.

0 comments
February 3rd, 2012
AndrewKeech snapped a picture

So It's been awhile hasn't it? Sometimes I feel lost and confused, and I don't know what to say so I just sit and ponder and let myself bask in ignorance. Sometimes I wish things would just fall into place like in good TV shows like Cowboy Bebop. I wish there would be no awkward moments, but where would the fun be? The fun is in not knowing, because then we get to discover. We get to find new exciting frontiers to expand on what we know.
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But other times the fun is in not caring if we know or not. The fun is in just sitting back and taking the world in as it is and letting the world take us in as we are. Those are the most precious moments I think-- when you do not think. Just letting things flow is so hard for me to do but it feels so wonderful. I can do that most easily when I am sleeping or when I just look to the ceiling or the sky.

Sometimes I care too much. When something is important I care too much and I lose this flow. It becomes forced and disjointed. I love acting, but I care too much sometimes and it becomes forced. It becomes disingenuous and fake and bad.

But that's the problem isn't it? You love something but the very fact that you love it means you cannot have it. You have to trick yourself into thinking it does not matter. Doublethink. And only when you grab onto it can you let your true emotions come forth.

So let's trick ourselves into thinking we don't want
what we truly desire
and when It's ours
let's hold it close
and never let it go

2 comments
January 25th, 2012
AndrewKeech snapped a picture

I'm up all night, looking at a picture of a clock, wondering why you cannot wake up and see that this image is what you have been striving for. You reach out for it, trying to grasp it, but it eludes you. You cannot forget things that happened in the past, can you? Can you grab them and make them yours? make them real? Can you grab that fucking moment where I am and take it for yourself?

I can't go to sleep because I know you'll dream of me. Maybe in that alternate reality is where we can be together. I don't want to dream of you but I know you will dream of me. If we dream at the same time can we be together? Does this even make any sense to you? Fuck do I have to make sense all the time? Can words ever just sound pretty and not have meaning? This is what this is. Words are pretty, and the meaning is so buried it is worthless to dig it up.

So the words mean the thoughts on the situation is still jumbled. We exist in an alternate reality inside each others' minds but not in real life. But things inside our minds are just ideas. Not entities. So an idea is what I am bonded with. Sweet.

I just want to know one thing: Is an idea worth any less than a person?

5 comments
September 14th, 2011
AndrewKeech snapped a picture

I went on a walk once.

It was late at night, maybe 3 or 4 am, and I was just walking around the neighborhood. Eventually I came upon an old, dilapidated apartment building. I could tell nobody lived there because the windows were broken and there was random junk inside. I thought it was beautiful.

I took out my old cell phone and I snapped a picture of the building. It was really dark out and my cell phone had to adjust to the lighting so when I took the picture it had a grainy tone and a sepia color. The effect on the photograph was kind of dreamlike.

I never could find that apartment building again but I really enjoyed the picture for the time I had it. I eventually got a new cell phone but that picture was kind of surreal for me. I guess it made me think of people that lived in that old building long ago and made me wonder where they were now. Old stuff always kind of has that depressing but beautiful quality. It makes you think of times long past that only now exist in the unstable foundation of a memory. But more importantly I think it makes you remember when times were different and will never again come back no matter how hard you try to recreate them.

I just felt like writing that.

9 comments
September 10th, 2011
AndrewKeech snapped a picture

I get to act as a person with different mental illnesses like bipolar disorder and depression for people in training at prisons and hospitals. It is going to be super fun! Nothing is better than getting paid to do what you love, what you're good at and going to work in jeans and a button up shirt. Haha. It makes me super happy every time I can act like I'm somebody else. I don't know why... :)

8 comments
September 1st, 2011
AndrewKeech snapped a picture

I start my job at Outback Steakhouse on Saturday! I really like the restaurant so I have high hopes that I will do great and I will like my job. :)

I'm babysitting my little sister right now in my hometown, but I return to St. Paul tonight. I can't wait to get back!

1 comment
August 26th, 2011
AndrewKeech snapped a picture

idk, maybe sometimes there comes a point where you can care too much...

3 comments
August 24th, 2011
AndrewKeech snapped a picture

I had a dream I was Heath Ledger and I was in a war or something and we were trapped and about to die. But then suddenly we were inside this building and I had horns and one of my horns was bent and my tooth was chipped and I started to like flip girls around and do dance moves with them and everybody liked me.

Weird, huh?

0 comments
August 22nd, 2011
AndrewKeech snapped a picture

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY

Oh yeah, one more thing:

HAPPY!

2 comments
August 22nd, 2011
AndrewKeech snapped a picture

1 comment
August 21st, 2011
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Andrew is a 22 year old male from United States.

About

I live in Saint Paul, Minnesota,

I wanna be an actor.

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Television

I don't watch TV

Books

The Great Gatsby; Winesburg, Ohio; As I Lay Dying; Cane; The God Delusion; God is Not Great; Infidel; The Thief Lord; Lord of the Rings; The Hobbit

Music

Post-hardcore, metalcore, mainstream, 80's

Websites

youtube.com/andrewkeechak

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